Lets Begin....

It's been a long time since I've allowed myself to publicly express my goals, shortfalls, personality and such but here goes.....

For quite a while I have been impressed to really study Proverbs 31: 10-31. Not to imply that I have no need to study the entire Bible, I just have been mulling this one over. If you aren't sure what I'm talking about, let me share the passage with you:

^"10 A wife of noble character who can find?
She is worth far more than rubies.
¹¹ Her husband has full confidence in her
and lacks nothing of value.
¹² She brings him good, not harm,
all the days of her life.
¹³ She selects wool and flax
and works with eager hands.
¹⁴ She is like the merchant ships,
bringing her food from afar.
¹⁵ She gets up while it is still dark;
she provides food for her family
and portions for her servant girls.
¹⁶ She considers a field and buys it;
out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
¹⁷ She sets about her work vigorously;
her arms are strong for her tasks.
¹⁸ She sees that her trading is profitable,
and her lamp does not go out at night.
¹⁹ In her hand she holds the distaff
and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
²⁰ She opens her arms to the poor
and extends her hands to the needy.
²¹ When it snows, she has no fear for her household;
for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
²² She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
²³ Her husband is respected at the city gate,
where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
²⁴ She makes linen garments and sells them,
and supplies the merchants with sashes.
²⁵ She is clothed with strength and dignity;
she can laugh at the days to come.
²⁶ She speaks with wisdom,
and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
²⁷ She watches over the affairs of her household
and does not eat the bread of idleness.
²⁸ Her children arise and call her blessed;
her husband also, and he praises her:
²⁹ "Many women do noble things,
but you surpass them all."
³⁰ Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;
but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
³¹ Give her the reward she has earned,
and let her works bring her praise at the city gate."

Sunday, the pastor of the church we have been attending since we relocated, preached on this and gave particular emphasis on verse 17 "She sets about her work vigorously; her arms are strong for her tasks." Among other things, he talked about being physically able and ready to do whatever God asks of us. This filters down to so many areas if you are a mother and wife. I have battled weight and being out of shape for so long and I'm ready to move past it. One major thing I lack though is Self Discipline. How does one gain Self Discipline? Just by practice? By prayer? WHAT???

I remember back in high school, I was going through yet another particularly difficult patch in life and prayed over and over and over again for.. wisdom. There is no doubt in my mind that my prayer was honored and God struck me with more wisdom than I could have ever expected. I also know that through the years I have not used the spiritual side of me as much and know that I am no longer nearly as "in touch" with that well of wisdom as I once was.

I need to change some things in my life, in a major way. I need a total life make over. I don't mean so I can be prettier to other people or feel better about myself, but because I am NOT being the wife, mother or woman of God that I have always wanted to be or known I could be.
Lots of people think of me as a leader, and as a wonderful friend recently pointed out to me, I may be a leader (which I do not consider myself to be) but I am also a person who needs accountability. I hate to let people down. So I guess what I'm implying with this is that I need your help in this. I need to know that people expect better of me. This goes a lot against the "Self Discipline" thing, I know... but I just need a little push. A reminder what I'm not in this all alone.
Yes, I know Jesus is there for me too, and I am working on that relationship too, but I would greatly appreciate your prayer as I try my best to set out on this makeover road....

That's all for Day 1. I will keep it coming....