DONE!!!
Suffice it to say that I am not a "reader". I began reading Pride and Prejudice last summer and got about a third of the way done. LOVED IT. You never would have known it since I put it down for months. This is one of my favorite stories, I could watch any of a number of movie adaptations, a couple of times a month. Well drumroll please... I finished it!
A friend of mine asked whether it ended as well as the movies portrayed. Answer: no. I was slightly disappointed at the ending. Maybe because even as a movie, it's a story that I really never want to see end. I secretly hoped the book had a little more emotion in the end but it did not (for me). All in all though, absolutely wonderful! Will definitely read it again!
Little note or tidbit that I ran across and truly didn't expect. Do you ever read something or see something played out and it fit you so well that it kind of took you aback? I did in this book, maybe it surprised me so because I have seen the film versions so often that I didn't expect a surprise like this...
I have touched on respect before, as it applies to me and my "Mr." Check this out though. I had to call and read it to my mom the next day, I totally fit/feel this...
Pride and Prejudice Quote
Ok so all of that to say.. Bucket List - Pride and Prejudice - CHECK!
Side note, I do believe I will do my best to attend one of the Music In The Park evenings this season! Wouldn't that be wonderful?
Monday, June 2, 2014
Saturday, May 24, 2014
Eleven
Today marks my eleventh wedding anniversary. One would think that after two years of separation and all of the mess before that, that this wouldn't bother me anymore. I knew today was coming up. But somehow it slipped my mind until there I was sitting in a restaurant by myself and the waitress asked me where my kids were. We obviously frequent this restaurant. I thought it was sweet that she asked. As I began to say that the girls were with their dad this weekend, she asked whether we were separated. It was in that moment that I realized it had slipped my mind.
I know we are where we are, and I don't expect anything to change. I don't hope for reconciliation. But as much as I am content with moving forward, I doubt I will ever really get over my marriage ending. I will never really get over what this has done my children.
I feel like it's unusual to be sad that it's finally legally ending but relieved it's almost over. Bittersweet.
As for the sabbatical, I have not been as successful as I had hoped. I know I can't be too hard on myself. I know I have made progress. But all I can see are the areas that I'm not hitting my own expectation of myself.
The truth is I'm pretty happy where I am. But I know I could be more happy with a special someone by my side. So don't have to do it all alone. So that we don't have to do it all alone.
So I have a little more than three months left of my sabbatical and I'm hoping that I really take advantage of it.
I will be happy when I don't feel this internal struggle of what I feel like and believe God has promised me versus what I believe or feel like is actually happening. They conflict. It's so hard for me. I want to have faith. Faith that what He says will happen WILL happen. And I do have that faith in a lot of ways. But I guess with my past experience with men, I've lost that faith. That trust. That willingness to let go.
I have hidden something in my heart for so long, and to see it not come together (or at least not in the way I expected it to) is hard. Is this thing that I have hidden in my heart and inordanent thing? How do I know when to let go?
Okay I am so sorry. Way too much rambling on and on tonight. Just so much on my mind.
I know we are where we are, and I don't expect anything to change. I don't hope for reconciliation. But as much as I am content with moving forward, I doubt I will ever really get over my marriage ending. I will never really get over what this has done my children.
I feel like it's unusual to be sad that it's finally legally ending but relieved it's almost over. Bittersweet.
As for the sabbatical, I have not been as successful as I had hoped. I know I can't be too hard on myself. I know I have made progress. But all I can see are the areas that I'm not hitting my own expectation of myself.
The truth is I'm pretty happy where I am. But I know I could be more happy with a special someone by my side. So don't have to do it all alone. So that we don't have to do it all alone.
So I have a little more than three months left of my sabbatical and I'm hoping that I really take advantage of it.
I will be happy when I don't feel this internal struggle of what I feel like and believe God has promised me versus what I believe or feel like is actually happening. They conflict. It's so hard for me. I want to have faith. Faith that what He says will happen WILL happen. And I do have that faith in a lot of ways. But I guess with my past experience with men, I've lost that faith. That trust. That willingness to let go.
I have hidden something in my heart for so long, and to see it not come together (or at least not in the way I expected it to) is hard. Is this thing that I have hidden in my heart and inordanent thing? How do I know when to let go?
Okay I am so sorry. Way too much rambling on and on tonight. Just so much on my mind.
Sunday, March 30, 2014
1 Down! 25 to go!?!?
Week one has come and gone and It was bittersweet for me.
First to focus on the positive....
- A bed time for Mom has been implemented and I have stuck pretty close to it. There is a HUGE difference in being in bed by 10:30 instead of 1:30am! Who would have thought?!
- Mornings have become much better due to me getting up earlier and helping the girls a little more.
- The Marble Jar! I am attempting to teach the girls about teamwork. We now have a mason jar which each girl gets to put a marble in if :
-- she is ready BEFORE it is time to go.
-- she helps her sister succeed while getting ready. This could mean grabbing part of her school clothes when you are getting your own or could even mean deciding to leave your sister alone and let her get ready when normally you would distract her from what I have set for her to do.
-- they are sweet in the car to and from school
-- they willingly help with an evening chore and maintane a positive attitude while doing it.
So far we have discussed how if we do this every day, we will soon reach our goal of filling the jar and can have a party of some kind. As easily as marbles can be added to the jar they can be taken out. A time or two sisters have tattled on each other and after being reminded that their tattling could result in a sister removing a marble and slow our progress of filling the jar, we became MUCH more supportive of our sister and of our team!
- Chores! Guess what?! The girls agree that it is in fact NOT fair for mommy to have to do them all alone. We plan to spend 15 minutes at least every other night working as a team on some kind of chore. We were quite successful 3 nights so far and the girls loved listening to music and each earning a marble :D it's the little things, isn't it?
- Devotional time plus having my makeup on before I leave home! One of these is quite important and the other much less so but they have both made me feel so much better! I begin a new Bible study this Wednesday night at church which I plan to do in conjunction with my daily devotional.
- Diet & Exercise have been touched on, eating less and making some better choices. Cutting out soda also. BABY STEPS.
So now for the bitter part of bittersweet.
My poor phone. She must think I have died. She is in mourning - screen always in black. :'(
This is my choice though. And isn't it odd how we can go weeks or even months without communicating with someone who is important to us, but the moment it becomes intentional the degree of difficulty as well as thought put on it goes up exponentially!?
I wish I had some witty lyric to insert here as that is the only thing that feels appropriate but the lyrics have never been my strong suit. I just enjoy hearing them.
If this is all I have to complain about, I guess I am doing pretty fair.
First to focus on the positive....
- A bed time for Mom has been implemented and I have stuck pretty close to it. There is a HUGE difference in being in bed by 10:30 instead of 1:30am! Who would have thought?!
- Mornings have become much better due to me getting up earlier and helping the girls a little more.
- The Marble Jar! I am attempting to teach the girls about teamwork. We now have a mason jar which each girl gets to put a marble in if :
-- she is ready BEFORE it is time to go.
-- she helps her sister succeed while getting ready. This could mean grabbing part of her school clothes when you are getting your own or could even mean deciding to leave your sister alone and let her get ready when normally you would distract her from what I have set for her to do.
-- they are sweet in the car to and from school
-- they willingly help with an evening chore and maintane a positive attitude while doing it.
So far we have discussed how if we do this every day, we will soon reach our goal of filling the jar and can have a party of some kind. As easily as marbles can be added to the jar they can be taken out. A time or two sisters have tattled on each other and after being reminded that their tattling could result in a sister removing a marble and slow our progress of filling the jar, we became MUCH more supportive of our sister and of our team!
- Chores! Guess what?! The girls agree that it is in fact NOT fair for mommy to have to do them all alone. We plan to spend 15 minutes at least every other night working as a team on some kind of chore. We were quite successful 3 nights so far and the girls loved listening to music and each earning a marble :D it's the little things, isn't it?
- Devotional time plus having my makeup on before I leave home! One of these is quite important and the other much less so but they have both made me feel so much better! I begin a new Bible study this Wednesday night at church which I plan to do in conjunction with my daily devotional.
- Diet & Exercise have been touched on, eating less and making some better choices. Cutting out soda also. BABY STEPS.
So now for the bitter part of bittersweet.
My poor phone. She must think I have died. She is in mourning - screen always in black. :'(
This is my choice though. And isn't it odd how we can go weeks or even months without communicating with someone who is important to us, but the moment it becomes intentional the degree of difficulty as well as thought put on it goes up exponentially!?
I wish I had some witty lyric to insert here as that is the only thing that feels appropriate but the lyrics have never been my strong suit. I just enjoy hearing them.
If this is all I have to complain about, I guess I am doing pretty fair.
Sunday, March 23, 2014
Sabbatical
Change is an essential part of life. For some time now I have felt like I needed to make some changes but didn't have the determination to follow through. Change in areas such as:
Bed time. This effects a lot of my frustration.
Quiet time. Devotional time, prayer time or bible study daily
Eating and exercise. Duh.
Social media - has become an addiction for me.
My home being out of order due to the effects of some items listed here.
And last but definitely not least... Relationship. This is a toughie.
I have been blessed in so many ways. Work, friends, family, TCA. And you may know that the husband of a very good friend of mine is my direct supervisor at work. While some of you may think that sounds like torture, it has been a Godsend for me. I am thankful to be able to say that he and his wife are undoubtedly my advocates. I know I am exactly where God wants me where work is concerned.
He and another male coworker challenged me to finally do this. And I am so excited to see what blessings will come. I often feel like a failure due to my misuse of time and hope that to be less and less as I move forward.
I have made a private covenant as well regarding friendships and relationships which will be the hardest part of this sabbatical but I pray God uses this time like only He can.
I am tired of not being the woman I know I am supposed to be. So let's get on with it :)
Bed time. This effects a lot of my frustration.
Quiet time. Devotional time, prayer time or bible study daily
Eating and exercise. Duh.
Social media - has become an addiction for me.
My home being out of order due to the effects of some items listed here.
And last but definitely not least... Relationship. This is a toughie.
I have been blessed in so many ways. Work, friends, family, TCA. And you may know that the husband of a very good friend of mine is my direct supervisor at work. While some of you may think that sounds like torture, it has been a Godsend for me. I am thankful to be able to say that he and his wife are undoubtedly my advocates. I know I am exactly where God wants me where work is concerned.
He and another male coworker challenged me to finally do this. And I am so excited to see what blessings will come. I often feel like a failure due to my misuse of time and hope that to be less and less as I move forward.
I have made a private covenant as well regarding friendships and relationships which will be the hardest part of this sabbatical but I pray God uses this time like only He can.
I am tired of not being the woman I know I am supposed to be. So let's get on with it :)
One of my dearest friends read today's devotional to me from "Jesus Calling" below are today's and tomorrow's. How much better does it get, folks?
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)