Over Again....

So, I guess it's time to start over again. I fell off the band wagon and I'm ready not to feel spent all the time. For those of you who knew me back in the day - I'm there again, but with no one to pull me out this time. Where's the feistiness, passion, determination, difference? Yep. This post is depressing, but at least it's a benchmark. Need prayer - I'm not praying. Pretty much at that point of feeling like it doesn't make a difference, but I'm even halfhearted in that feeling. God knows my heart. Truly knows it. I want to pray and to believe it will make a difference. I know there are blessings, I have received them - even lately and I know they are just that (blessings). The thing is, they aren't the things I'm praying for. I know, I sound like a brat. I greatly appreciate the blessings. I covet them. Just feel like there are larger miracles to be worked. I know I'm not forgotten, that's what makes it so hard. What next?

Send some rain, would You send some rain?
'Cause the earth is dry and needs to drink again
And the sun is high and we are sinking in the shade
Would You send a cloud, thunder long and loud?
Let the sky grow black and send some mercy down
Surely You can see that we are thirsty and afraid
But maybe not, not today
Maybe You'll provide in other ways
And if that's the case . . .

We'll give thanks to You With gratitude
For lessons learned in how to thirst for You
How to bless the very sun that warms our face
If You never send us rain

Daily bread, give us daily bread
Bless our bodies, keep our children fed
Fill our cups, then fill them up again tonight
Wrap us up and warm us through
Tucked away beneath our sturdy roofs
Let us slumber safe from danger's view this time
Or maybe not, not today
Maybe You'll provide in other ways
And if that's the case . . .

We'll give thanks to You With gratitude
A lesson learned to hunger after You
That a starry sky offers a better view if no roof is overhead And if we never taste that bread

Oh, the differences that often are between
What we want and what we really need

So grant us peace, Jesus, grant us peace
Move our hearts to hear a single beat
Between alibis and enemies tonight
Or maybe not, not today
Peace might be another world away
And if that's the case . . .

We'll give thanks to You With gratitude
For lessons learned in how to trust in You
That we are blessed beyond what we could ever dream
In abundance or in need
And if You never grant us peace

But Jesus, would You please . . .

Nichole Nordeman "Gratitude"